King me, then tuck me in
A recent news story by Reuters reports that a champion chess player fell asleep during one of his matches.
These are two words seldom used in the same sentence: “news” and “chess. A chess player hasn’t made news since the decline of Bobby Fischer, but hold on to your pawns…
Chess Grandmaster Vladislav Tkachiev made news when he fell asleep during a match in Kolkata, India against Indian chess player Praveen Kumar.
It seems that Tkachiev is a fan of the spirits. He was, reportedly, so drunk that he could barely sit up in his chair. So 11 moves into the match, Tkachiev could no longer pretend that his desire to checkmate was stronger than his desire to catch some sleep it off. What’s surprising is the fact that he didn’t hurl all over the chessboard.
The question is how did Tkachiev complete his moves up to the point he when he fell asleep? Did the strong scent of Vodka propel his pieces to where he wanted them on the board? Or perhaps the motto where he learned the game isn’t “Sometimes you gotta play hurt,” but rather, “Sometimes you gotta play drunk.” But an intoxicated person rarely does anything remotely intelligent, and playing chess while drunk is like flying a 747 while blind.
It can be difficult to stay awake during normal chess-playing circumstances, but add alcohol to the equation and it becomes impossible, as Mr. Tkachiev has probably learned.
Anyone who has ever played chess knows that waiting for a strategy-conscious opponent to make his/her move can sometimes be interminable. This is why chess timers are used in chess tournaments and by those who are serious about playing the game. It’s hard to fall asleep in 2 minutes…unless you’re wasted.
Tkachiev’s situation surely gives new meaning to the trash-talking brag line, “I can take you in my sleep!”
Nevertheless, Kumar won the match in the chess equivalent of a TKO on the grounds that Tkachiev was unable to finish his moves. Considering the fact that chess is, ostensibly, a war board game, the consequence of a TKO loss is tame.
Had Tkachiev fallen asleep on the battlefield, there would be no question about living to drink another day.
Now that he’s played Sleepy, Praveen Kumar’s next match will be against Dopey.
Mental Pizza 