Do these birds go with these shoes?
Anyone who travels knows the ever-increasing list of items that cannot be taken onto an airplane: nail clippers, pocket knives, box-cutters, razor blades, scissors, axes, meat cleavers, saws, cattle prods, ice picks, and pieces of glass, metal and wood carved into fine points. Speaking of sharp, Chelsea Handler should be added to the “prohibited” list any day now.
But today, we must now add songbirds to that list. Yes, those little flying chanteuses are not allowed to travel. Who’da thunk it?
Apparently, Sony Dong didn’t think it. Or maybe he did because he strapped more than a dozen songbirds to his body to conceal them as he boarded a flight from Viet Nam-to-Los Angeles. According to one story, what gave Dong away was the, “bird feathers and droppings on his socks, and [the] tail feathers…peeking out from under his pants.”
What’s strange is that these were songbirds — birds that sing. Why wouldn’t the sound of singing coming from a man’s pants tip off authorities before the droppings on his socks and the feathers on his behind? Were the birds on strike during the international flight? Were they too engrossed by the in-flight movie to give up a note or two?
Then again, people ask the same questions about Barbra Streisand when she travels?
And if the birds did warble a tune between Viet Nam and L.A., who was Dong sitting next to on the plane? Marlee Matlin?
Dong was arrested by customs agents and charged with illegally importing wildlife. If smuggling wildlife becomes a trend, this blogger recommends pigmy hippos. They can fit into a duffle bag and the overhead compartments of most airplanes. They are the Verne Troyers of the animal kingdom.
As an added bonus, none of them have made a sex tape…yet.
Mental Pizza 